Newspaper Plotting

Copyright 2018 by Gary L. Pullman

Many writers have developed plots for their stories, long or short, from newspaper accounts of actual events. A quick way to accomplish this procedure is to change, add, or delete a word or a phrase to make a mundane incident appear bizarre or sinister. Here are a few examples from the “State-By-State” column in the Tuesday, October 16, 2018, issue of the national newspaper USA Today. First, the actual news item is quoted, directly, and then the altered version is presented, the changes are indicated in bold font.

Alabama[,] Birmingham: Sheriff's deputies in Jefferson County are now armed with body cameras.

Alabama[,] Birmingham: Sheriff's deputies in Jefferson County are now armed with weaponized body extensions.

(What, exactly, are “weaponized body extensions”? Whatever you want them to be; have fun deciding.)

Alaska[,] Homer: After decades of serving independent movie selections, Barb's Video and DVD is closing its doors this month.

Alaska[,] Homer: After decades of showing snuff films, Thanatos Palace Video and DVD is closing its doors this month.

(For legal purposes, in fiction it is often advisable to change the names of actual persons and businesses; some writers also change the names of actual cities..)

Iowa[,] Des Moines: State law enforcement officials are warning of a scam in which callers pretend to be state police and demand payment.

Iowa[,] Des Moines: State law enforcement officials are warning of a scam in which callers pretend to be hit men and demand payment to call off the contracts on potential “target's” lives.

Nevada[,] Reno: The 1872 Reno Mercantile and Masonic Lodge, downtown's oldest building, has been found to be too unstable to save.

Nevada[,] Reno: The 1872 Reno Dry Goods Store and Satanic Lodge, downtown's oldest building, has been found to be too mentally unstable to save.

A mad, possibly demon-possessed personified building: now that's a twist!

Ohio[,[ Columbus: An exhibition of veterans' art will showcase works by former military service members from across the state.

Ohio[,[ Columbus: An exhibition of veterans' art will showcase photographs of combat fatalities caused by former military service members from across the state.

Pennsylvania[,] Pittsburgh: Authorities say a pizza deliveryman was shot and killed during a daytime robbery.

Pennsylvania[,] Pittsburgh: Authorities say a pizza deliveryman was shot, killed, and eaten during a daytime delivery to a family of cannibals.*

Rhode Island[,] Providence: Senator Jack Reed is helping to kick off a new apprenticeship program for people who want to build submarines.

Rhode Island[,] Providence: Senator Jim Kinkaid is helping to kick off a new apprenticeship program for people who want to build sanctuary cities for aliens (i. e., extraterrestrials).

An alternative:

Rhode Island[,] Providence: Senator Jim Kinkaid is helping to kick off a new apprenticeship program for people who want to build holding compounds for zombies.

(The beauty of this item is that the people—or creatures—to be housed in the new buildings can be pretty much anything, natural or supernatural. In one of the X-Men movies, a plastic room, suspended in midair, was built to confine Magneto.)

Washington[,] Cougar: Forecasters say strong winds are expected to blow volcanic ash on Mount St. Helens to nearby communities.

Washington[,] Cougar: Forecasters say strong winds are expected to blow mutagenic agents from a remote genetic engineering lab into certain unidentified communities.

Some of the reports in the column need no modification; they're already bizarre or sinister.

Arizona[,] Phoenix: A man, 59, is accused of killing his girlfriend and putting her body in a gun safe he welded shut and buried in the desert.

Massachusetts[,] Peabody: A house where a victim of the Salem witch trials once lived is on the market for $600,000.

Tennessee[,] Bristol: A man police say was run over with a lawn mower while trying to kill his son with a chain saw [sic] had his leg amputated.

A couple of items could be revised to include Bigfoot:

Idaho[,] Boise: An Idaho Fish and game Commission member is under fire after he shared photos of himself posing with baboons he killed while hunting in Africa.

Idaho[,] Boise: An Idaho Fish and game Commission member is under fire after he shared photos of himself posing with Bigfoot creatures he killed while hunting.

New Hampshire[,] Manchester: A New Hampshire Fish and Game official says a biologist shot and killed two bear cubs because they were causing a safety issue.

New Hampshire[,] Manchester: A New Hampshire Fish and Game official says a biologist shot and killed two Bigfoot cubs because they were causing a safety issue.

Once a possible plot has been obtained in this manner, t would need to be developed. A context would have to be created to account for the bizarre or sinister incident. Who caused it and why? What consequences ensued? Who was hurt or killed, how, and why? How was the incident brought to its end, by whom, and why? These are only some of the many questions that a writer would have to answer before the plot was ready to convert into a full-scale short story, novel, or screenplay.

But, hey, USA Today gave us a start!