Writing the Murder Mystery

Copyright 2011 by Gary L. Pullman

Typically, the story starts in media res, with the discovery of a body. Early on, perhaps in the second chapter, the detective is introduced. He or she is often slightly eccentric, unassuming, and of superior intellect, although he or she may disguise his or her intellectual superiority in various ways. During the course of the investigation, the detective discovers various clues and red herrings as he or she examines evidence and unofficially deposes suspects. Finally, the detective learns how and why the murderer committed the crime, identifies the killer, and an arrest is made.

To plot the story, the writer may begin with character (the killer, the victim, the detective, or a supporting character, such as a suspect or an eye witness); with scene (the when and the where of the murder); with the crime and its commission; with the motive (or motives) for the murder; or with the means by which the murder was committed. Eventually, all six of the following questions should be answered in a single sentence:

Who?
What?
When?
Where?
How?
Why?

Here are three examples, one fictional and two actual (but the actual ones could be fictionalized as novels or movies)*:

Adrian Monk [who] fingers a Mexican coroner [who] as the culprit who faked the cause of death (midair drowning) [what] of a parachutist [who] in order to lure the consulting detective south of the border so he (the coroner) could engineer Monk’s death [why] after Monk had tarnished the coroner’s professional reputation [when].

Three years ago [when], Casey Anthony [who] (allegedly) kills [what] her three-year-old daughter Calley [who] by drugging and asphyxiating her [how] in Orlando, Florida [where], so she (Casey) [who] can resume her carefree, single, party girl lifestyle [why].

After his mother dies [when], Ed Gein [who] shoots [what] Bernice Worden [who] in her hardware store in Plainfield, Wisconsin [where], so he can use her body as food, clothing, and decorations [why].

*Actually, Gein has been the subject of a movie, Ed Gein (2000), starring Steve Railsback and Carrie Snodgress and directed by Chuck Parello.

Fever Dream’s Opening Paragraphs (Chapters 17 through 20)

Copyright 2011 by Gary L. Pullman

The opening paragraph of Chapter 17 of Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child’s Fever Dream locates the current action in New Orleans’ Tulane University, as the protagonist arrives at the school’s Health Sciences Center, downtown, on Tulane Street, to visit Miriam Kendall. The link between the building and “New York’s financial district” links the action of the novel that occurs in Louisiana with the action that occurs in New York:

The downtown campus of Tulane University Health Sciences Center, on Tulane Street, was housed with a nondescript gray skyscraper that would not have looked out o place in new York’s financial district. Pendergast exited the elevator at the thirty-first floor, made his way to the Women’s Health Division, and--after a few enquiries--found himself before the door of Miriam Kendall (90).

Chapter 18 opens upon a tempestuous note. It also allows readers another glimpse of Pendergast’s palatial plantation house, as he makes his way to his vast collection of books. The authors’ use of such words as “moaned” and “worrying,” even though they are used to describe weather conditions, keep readers in mind of the mental anguish and worry that Pendergast is undergoing concerning his late wife’s murder and his attempt to find her killer. Likewise, a sense of the novel’s ongoing conflict is discernable in Preston and Child’s use of such verbs (again relating to the weather--at least ostensibly--and not to Pendergast per se) as “thrashing” and “beat,” and the mystery surrounding Helen’s death is underscored by the authors’ reference to the “heavy, swollen clouds” that “obscured the full moon,” just as the “the remains of a bottle”--an odd adjectival phrase, certainly--is a reminder of Helen’s remains:

Pendergast said good night to Maurice and, taking the remains of a bottle of Romanee-Conti 1964 he had opened at dinner, walked down the echoing central hall of Penumbra Plantation to the library. A storm had swept north from the Gulf of Mexico and the wind moaned about the house, worrying the shutters and thrashing the bare limbs of the surrounding trees. Rain beat on the windows, and heavy, swollen clouds obscured the full moon (95).

One forgets, almost, as he or she reads the opening paragraph to Chapter 19, that the protagonist is investigating his wife’s brutal murder in Zambia nine years ago. In “Bayou Goula, Louisiana,“ as the chapter’s tagline indicates, surrounded by the trappings of a luxury hotel’s “palm-lined courtyard,” the FBI’s Special Agent Aloysius Pendergast sits as still as a sculpture, his pale complexion reinforcing the illusion that he is one of the “alabaster statues that framed the gracious space.” Far away are the African wilds--and the concrete jungle of New York, where his investigation occasionally takes him or his assistant, first NYPD’s Lieutenant Vincent D’Agosta :

Pendergast sat in the palm-lined courtyard in front of the elegant hotel, one black-clad leg draped over the other, arms crossed, motionless as the alabaster statues that framed the gracious space. The previous night’s storm had passed, ushering in a warm and sunny day full of the false promise of spring. Before him lay a wide driveway of white gravel. A small army of valets and caddies were busy ferrying expensive cars and gleaming golf carts here and there. Beyond the driveway was a swimming pool, sparkling azure in the late-morning light, empty of swimmers but surrounded by sunbathers drinking bloody Marys. Beyond the pool lay an expensive golf course, immaculate fairways and raked bunkers, over which strolled men in the broad brown swath of the Mississippi River (99).

The “elegance” of the hotel is emphasized by the paragraph’s allusions to “a small army of valets and caddies,” “expensive cars,” “gleaming golf carts” (and a golf course), and “a swimming pool, sparkling azure in the late-morning.” Perhaps, the reader may think, Pendergast is at a resort. If so, why, though? Isn’t he determined to find who murdered his wife and to bring the killer to justice? Perhaps Pendergast is taking a break, although such conduct would be out of character for him, as the reader has come, by way of other novels in which he appears, to know him. In any case, his sudden appearance at a luxury hotel makes readers curious and, curious, they read on, confident of finding answers to these rhetorical questions which they themselves have raised, in response to the protagonist’s unusual situation. Moreover, the authors keep the tension simmering by suggesting that, although “the previous night’s storm,” which had seemed so ominous, “had passed, ushering in a warm and sunny day,” it is a day which is, nevertheless, deceptive, a “day full of the false promise of spring.”

The opening paragraph of Chapter 20, the tagline of which locates the novel’s action in “St. Francesville, Louisiana,” shows D’Agosta as a man who is out of his element. As a homicide detective, the New York City investigator, is a member of the middle-class, moral, courageous, intelligent, and loyal, but far from wealthy or sophisticated. Nevertheless, he finds himself “in front of the white-washed mansion” known (readers learn in the next paragraph) as Oakley Plantation, having arrived not in a Porsche or a Rolls-Royce, as the wealthy Pendergast might arrive, but in a “rental car.” However, more significantly, the detective is out of his element when it comes to the assignment that Pendergast has given him. On one hand, it seems “hardly more than an errand,” although, on the other hand, it involves a subject matter that is beyond his experience, relating, as it does, to “dead birds”:

D’Agosta pulled up in front of the white-washed mansion, rising in airy formality from dead flower beds and bare-branched trees. The winter sky spat rain, puddles collecting on the blacktop. He sat up in the rental car for a moment, listening to the last lousy lines of “Just You and I” on the radio, trying to overcome his annoyance a having been sent on what was hardly more than an errand. What the hell did he know about dead birds? (106)

It is obvious that D’Agosta does not relish his present assignment. He thinks it both beneath him and beyond him. The weather seems to agree, for “the winter sky,” readers observe spit “rain,” as if to indicate its derision for the detective’s present mission. This paragraph accomplishes what Preston and Child often do, involving a character in a situation for which he or she seems ill-equipped, almost invariably going on to show, during the remainder of the chapter, just how well, as a matter of fact, the character is equipped (although neither he or she nor the reader would have likely believed this to be the case at the outset of the chapter) to resolve the situation’s dilemma or problem--and, of course, D’Agosta will prove more than a match for the situation involving the ‘dead birds.” (If he were not, Pendergast would not have dispatched him to attend to it.)

Having analyzed the opening chapters of twenty of Preston and Child’s Fever Dream, or twenty-five percent of the eighty chapters of which the novel, as a whole, is comprised, I believe that I have provided a representative sample of their opening-chapter techniques, and I plan to move on to other matters. However, one additional post concerning these authors’ use of opening chapters will follow, recapitulating the authors’ accomplishments in the use of the techniques I have identified and discussed.

Until then, sweet dreams. . . .

"Gideon’s Sword": The Verdict

Copyright 2011 by Gary L. Pullman

In a note at the end of their latest Aloysius Pendergast novel, Fever Dream, Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child promised to debut the protagonist of a new series of thrillers, Gideon Crew. In Gideon’s Sword, they make good on their promise, introducing a younger man than Special Agent Pendergast. In his twenties, Gideon is billed (on the novel’s dust jacket) as a “trickster, prodigy,” and “master thief.” After avenging the death of his father, Gideon comes to the attention of a well-heeled private organization that hires him to, well, save the world. More specifically, his mission is to steal plans for a secret doomsday weapon from a Chinese agent who may or may not be defecting from his homeland. One thing leads to another (they way one thing should do in a thriller), and, before long, Gideon is in the company of prostitutes, call girls, female CIA agents, and others as he flees a Chinese martial arts expert-cum-assassin who is known only by the name of Nodding Crane.

It’s all good fun, but I find the plot, at times, unbelievable and, at other times, hard to believe. The characterization is fairly solid, although Gideon lacks (at this point, at least) the likeability of Pendergast. The Gideon books are apparently designed to appeal to younger-than-Pendergast novel-readers, which is all well and good, which probably explains the slightly more risqué (and sometimes crude) language, the references to prostitutes and call girls, and the double entendres (a few of which fall flat). Dialogue is not one of the authors’ particular strengths (although it is not a weakness, either), and, occasionally, what is intended to sound witty sounds more contrived than clever. Here’s an example:

“Bur Dubai Hotel is rather nice,” Mindy Jackson said as they passed through customs and headed for the taxi queue. “You owe me a stiff one.”

He spread his hands, “Drink, or . . . ?”

She colored. “Drink. A stiff drink. What a mind you have” (172).

Overall, though, the 342-page novel is exciting enough, although I wouldn’t go as far in my praise for it as those who supply the back cover’s blurbs (not all of which seem to have been written specifically for this Preston and Child novel). Would I read another Gideon Crew novel? Sure.

Trailer Tease

Copyright 2011 by Gary L. Pullman

The text is minimal, mostly phrases, interspersed with film footage, which has a cumulative and climactic effect:

A small town. . .

A way out. . .

A helping hand. . .

A new breed. . .

. . . of evil

is on the hunt.

In the example shown above, which constitutes the trailer, or preview film clip, of Prowl, young adults (the ladies wearing bikinis, of course) leap into a swimming pool, enjoying themselves at a party.

Text--“A small town”--appears on the screen, above an image of a two-lane blacktop cresting a hill between stands of trees, a mountain in the distance.

The characters talk excitedly. A van travels down a snowy road, away from the camera, as the words “A way out” appear on the screen. The driver and passengers are shown enjoying their ride before their vehicle breaks down, leaving them stranded alongside the road. They wait, impatiently, inside for a few moments before deciding to flag down another vehicle.

As “A helping hand” appears on the screen, a big rig stops for them, and they climb inside the trailer, where they resume partying, dancing and drinking. Two of the women, one half-dressed, attempt to kiss, but the big rig slams on its brakes, and the passengers are thrown about inside the trailer. One of the ladies tries to make a call on her cell phone, but to no avail. Another attempts to peer through a hole drilled through a wall of the trailer, and one of her companions discovers blood on the floor of the trailer. The occupants bang upon the walls of their mobile prison, demanding to be let out. The door to the trailer is lifted, but it is dark outside.

The scene shifts, and the young adults are inside a large, cavernous building, which turns out to be an abandoned meat-packing plant, and the words “A new breed” appear on the screen as a figure leaps from several stories. He seems to be disfigured or to be wearing a mask.

“Of evil” appears on the screen as another figure glides below the ceiling of the vast building, looking like a flying squirrel. He tackles a fleeing woman. A third figure scampers down a wall. Several of the group are lifted into the air. A woman stabs one of the predators in the eye with a knife. The bloody blade falls to the floor.

“Is on the hunt” appears on the screen, followed by a small army of predatory figures. Two of the victims hide around a corner, their backs to the wall, crying and lamenting their fate. A male victim looks upward, following the beam of his flashlight. A spread-eagled figure leaps from above. Someone on fire runs through the building. Two of the young women kick at panels in the wall, seeking escape. More images of flight and pursuit are displayed. A fire sweeps through the building.

The film’s title, Prowl, appears on the screen. A young man and a young woman are buried up to their necks inside a bin. He places his hand over hers, reassuring her. There is a blurred movement, and she screams. “In 2011” appears on a screen gone black.

Examined from the perspective of narrative or dramatic structure, the teaser has a beginning (a problem is indicated: the young adults become bored with their lives in a small town); a middle (a possible solution is proposed [seek an apartment in Chicago]; another problem is introduced [their vehicle breaks down, leaving them stranded in the middle of nowhere], a possible solution occurs [a trucker stops to offer them a ride]); and an end (the horror begins [vampires hunt the trapped travelers inside an abandoned warehouse]). The trailer also sets the scene--or scenes--”a small town,” rural countryside, and a meat-packing plant--introduces the characters--bored young adults who take a road trip together, encountering a trucker who leads them to a building infested with vampires--and establishes the basic situation--the victims are hunted by vampires (who happen to be in training).

Like paperback novel blurbs, horror movie trailers are useful tools, when analyzed, in illustrating the elements of plot that intrigue fans: a problem-solution approach, characters involved in a personal undertaking, an encounter with evil, and a fight-or-flight sequence in which young adults strive to survive against all odds. (A little sex and/or nudity is, for horror movies, if not paperbacks, prerequisites, too, of course.) By making sure that one’s own story contains these elements, a writer is likely to interest his or her readers or moviegoers in similar fare. What is more, carefully chosen phrases, like those displayed in the Prowl trailer, provide a skeleton that can be fleshed out, so to speak, with cause-and-effect-related action sequences unified by purpose and theme. By studying horror movie trailers, writers can become more adept in grabbing audiences or readers by their throats and holding on for dear life until the last foot of film or the last page of a novel.